Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
