he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
