chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
