I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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