woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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