My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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