Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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