If i come over, it means nothing
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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