Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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