K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
