doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i think my cat just said my name.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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