Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It's Friday. Sex?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
