Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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