THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize