There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
