Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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