Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
only if we run a train.
done.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
