We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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