at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
