Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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