What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.