I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
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I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
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I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.