I just cut my nipple shaving
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
