Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I faked an abortion last night.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
