Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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