We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
