just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
