I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
