It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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