WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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