Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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