Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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