so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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