She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
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If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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