apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You need a sexual gate keeper
This is my gift to your gina
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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