In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
