Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
