Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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