You work out of a Hotel?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
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