I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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