Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The air taste purple.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
