Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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