I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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