You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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