You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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