I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
