She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
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I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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