dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
