Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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