I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
