I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
