a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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