I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
