Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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