I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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