xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
