my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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