sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The best revenge is premature balding
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
